Yuck

This post is gonna be a slippery slope. I'm curious to see where goes, as it'll be a giant brain dump. Plop......

This post is definitely going against my 2008 goal for positivity. Positive mental process, positive energy, just all around spiritual creaminess. Lots of ambition, drive, and motivation, but anytime I feel the negativity creeping in, I'm trying to remind myself to focus on the positive, because it is there, whether its easy to see or not.

Occasional venting sessions are permitted, where all positive energy is discarded and the nasty ugly side comes out. This is one of them...

F karazhan

...or maybe...

F my guild

...or maybe....

F me and my expectations

Not sure which one to pick, but probably the last two choices.

I had left off in a previous post with plans to discuss my thoughts about getting a small bit of organization injected into guild practices with the GM. I did. That night. He and I, along with 2 of the other guild leaders had a pretty long talk. We discussed various topics like schedule, class needs, specific individuals, overall preparation needed, etc.

Very constructive talk. Led to 2 separate guild meetings to spread the word. As usual, one of the GM's endearing qualities is that he prepares well for meetings, with notes to guide him and ensure he covers all the bases, but somewhere along the way he gets all emotional and crazy. A lot like Cookie Monster. Cookie Monster always starts a discussion on a calm even tone, with a great internal balance regarding the plate of cookies and styrofoam letter of the day that's in front of him. But then, as the conversation unfolds, he loses it and goes to town chowing down the cookies, and the letter of the day. Definitely part of his personality that I like, as I too am ruled by emotion, but try to put up a framework of forced organization and calmness to help get through the day. But I digress.

Nice guild meetings, conveying the plan for 2 groups in Kara, an AM group and a PM group as we have a variety of RL schedules. The guild is going to start out raiding on tuesdays and thursdays, with thoughts of the first tuesday being January 8th. The plan is for all guildies keyed or nearly keyed to email the GM of their preference, and for the PM group, if you can be available from 8:00-11:00 on tuesdays and thursdays in general. From there, the supervisors (we're called supervisors, not officers) will discuss and form up the teams. Wednesday evenings from 8:00-11:00 will be reserved for kara attunment dungeons. People should feel free to pursue attunement stuff outside of that window, but in general, any already-keyed players should plan on being especially helpful on wednesday evenings, and put personal plans aside.

Out-f'ing-standing. I felt pretty charged up after this first private discussion, followed by the guild meetings. I think this is exactly what the guild needs. Not a hardcore strictly disciplined approach, but lets just start with a small amount of scheduling, and get a rythem going to make us a guild, and not just a loose collection of PUG'ers.

I continue on my merry way for a few days. Ran a bunch of Karazhan key attunement dungeons for people. Spent a bunch of time helping a Holy Paladin quest so he could ding 70 and heal us (and he's a levelling mad man, basically dinging 67, 68, 69 on consecutive days, and will probably be 70 by the time this gets published. good job by him, levelling holy is rough).

One day, there's a guild message of the day saying there's a supervisors meeting on tuesday night at 11:00pm. Excellent. I figure its to discuss the responses people sent in for the AM/PM groupings and stuff.

More continuing on my merry way. More key runs for people, some time spent on alts, lots of time logged out and playing RL daddy.

Kiddy goes to bed and I log in tuesday evening, around 7:30 or 7:40, planning on doing whatever stuff the guild had going on, and then attending the supervisor meeting at 11:00.

And what's this? Lemme count them...1...2....3........8....9...10 people from the guild, in Karazhan? Including the GM and all but 1 of the other supervisors (who wasnt logged in at the time)? And including 4 people for whom I personally arranged, coordinated, led, and provided mass quantities of sustained ranged dps in key runs over the past 2 days.

I type up my "F you and your guild, you mutha f-er" whisper for the GM, but restrain myself before I hit enter, thinking along my positive energy schtick. I end up sending a more toned down "it feels pretty lousy to log in after all these discussions and plans, only to see the guild in there, well before the time we discussed." or something along those lines. I also sent the same message to the #2 guy. #2 comes back with a "we're at the entrance, we'll summon you".

Now, I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I know the difference between "Deadwind Pass" and "Karazhan" on the results of a /who on somebody. You're not at the entrance. You're in there. And there's 10 of you.

He says we can run with 11. Really? I never been there, so I don't know, but I think its only 10. They summon, and like a chump, I accept. We walk in with 11 people. Shortly there after, somebody gets bounced to Shatt, as the place is a 10 man raid.

A bunch of talk about who's leaving and I say me. This is stupid. Plus, only one healer, so its doomed from the start. They say its only a sight seeing tour.

F U.

I went fishing in Elwyn Forest. Stewing for a bit. But there is something relaxing about fishing.

15 minutes later, the run fizzles (really, with only 1 healer? who woulda thunk it?), and I feel a certain degree of spiteful satisfaction, but that wears off pretty quick.

So what did I do? Like a sucker, I parley another run through BM (the one with the strange action bars) to get another player keyed.

And then to top it off, the supervisor meeting never happened. Supposedly we'll be having a discussion wednesday evening. Let me begin holding my breath.

Its bugging me because, on 4 separate occasions over the past couple days, there's been abundant guild chat about Amava this and Amava that, and nobody gets a group whipped together like Amava, and Holy DPS Amava, and Trappy trap trap Amava. Even other hunters, openly pouring it on. Even a DPS warrior who's outfitted in stuff from Gruul's and beyond with the praise and barely out DPS'ing. And that sort of talk is pretty rare in our guild chat, and I take pride in doing a good job (in case you're new to reading this blog :-)), so it stands out a bit. Hell, even the GM whispering that he's heard great things from several recent BM runs.

WTF???? All I ask is that we list out the names for the team of 10, and perhaps an alternate tank, alternate healer, and 2 alternate DPS. And then the team waits for those 10 to be assembled. And when the scheduled time comes, if somebody is a no-show, choose an alternate.

That's it. JUST DONT TURN IT INTO A PUG, where invites go to whoever is on when somebody gets the itch.

I won't be demanding about prep. I'll be patient if you show up unrepaired. I'll be understanding if you don't bring pots or buff foods, or if you havent read up on a fight or want to try a wacky spec. I'll stay positive (eh? see how i weave that back in there :-)) through wipe after wipe after wipe. I just want to have a team that knows who the other members are, so we can actually build a team, and not just a rotating bunch of individuals.

Is that so much to ask? Perhaps, but I don't see how you can be successful doing ANYTHING with 10 people, in WoW, in real life, in just about anything you can think of, without the most basic start time and list of people who are invited.

And you know what? If my name's not one of the 5 DPS in the run, or 2 on stand-by? FINE. Sure, I'd rather be on the F-ing list, but if I'm not, at least I can know it, and not be surprised and disappointed, and focus my efforts towards getting a team together. But none of this crap of wondering if I'm on the starting lineup or not. Been there, done that, not my cup of tea. I'm either in the team, or I'm finding the team that shows a little respect.

Thank you for bearing with me through this rant. I now will be equipping my Cap of Positivity. Its leather, but I ninja'd it from a rogue who wanted it as a direct upgrade to his current helm. LOL.

And technically, although I have never fired a shot in anger while in there, I set foot in Karazhan for the first time on January 1, 2008.