Shammy Flakes, the Breakfast of Champions

Morning time has become synonymous with BG's lately. Oh yeah, and Amava's a noob huntard, so skip there if you like stories of self-deprecation.

Seems that I really want that chest piece, and as my gold balance is getting ludicrous, my former morning activity, grinding gold from daily quests, has been replaced with a little PVP.

One of the least favorite aspects of this little routine is to log in, still in position in Stormwind City near the BG guys, talk to the daily quest guy and have him say "Read My Lips...W.S.G!" and then get lost in his cackling over the fate that he's just doomed me to.

The philosophy that's keeping me sane through the Alliance PuG WSG's on the Retalliation Battlegroup is to allow myself two back-to-back slaughters. I refuse to become upset during those two matches, no matter how much annoying chatter there is on bg chat, or how many people simply refuse to fight near flags and just stalemate endlessly in mid-field. If I win, cool, daily quest +419 bonus honor is mine. If I lose, badly or nicely, oh well, I can stomach two of them. I'm impatient and a sore loser, what can I say.

Loading up, always reassuring to see Horde with 10 and Alliance at 4 players for nearly the entire two minute warm-up. What's the deal? Every time I start out WSG, we're nastily outnumbered. Started the game with 6, got 2 more shortly after that. Great.

Open up the match, grossly outnumbered, but WTH, I mount up and streak up the right side, and enter the upper little chamber of the Horde base. Walk up to the ledge overlooking the flag. 3 guards.

Eh, I've already written off this match as a loss due to numbers and my general negative attitude in WSG, so why not have some fun. I see 2 allies coming up the horde tunnel.

Lemme distract. For fun, I fire off a Volley. LOL. No idea why, but I figured they might not think I was a hunter, because that's a pretty weird looking visual effect, maybe they'll think I'm a mage or warlock or something, and maybe it'll give my teammates a chance at the flag in the confusion :-)

They don't seem to notice me, so time for Aimed/Multi/Arcane on the Mage. Nearly dead, team mate swoops in to finish him off, then the two Allies get squished.

Then I see the Shammy (who I should have been shooting at to begin with, doh) bolt for the ramp to come up to me.

Hmmm, what to do. I put my rogue cap on and got to thinking...

Lemme Shadow Meld and have some fun.

So I trot on over to the front exit of the upper part of the Horde base, hang a hard right just outside the opening, and I Shadow Meld.

Here's the true huntard in me.

Can I deliver 1000 DPS on a PvE Boss fight? Sure, MQoSRDPS is my business.

Do I have even the first clue of how to properly outfit my pet for PvP? Not even the slightest.

My kitty doesn't have Prowl. In fact, I don't think I ever even learned the skill at all. Huntard, no doubt.

So I Shadow Meld and Cringer is just standing there, fully visible.

Shammy comes running out of the opening. I'm just having fun so I watch him run out. Stops about 10 yards out of the opening.

Scratches his head, looking around, spinning, looking for that damn hunter who he came to eat for breakfast.

He's staring right at my cat. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall. "Hmmm, what's that meowing noise? Strange. Oh well. Mooo!"

After about 10 seconds of this, I've had enough, so I press my "I WIN" button.

Ok, I never built an I WIN macro, so I have to click keys and buttons to give the same effect but in a nutshell, he got a helping of Bestial Wrath, Bloodlust Brooch, Rapid Fire, along with Aimed/Multi/Auto/Arcane combo. Then, I just stand there and pew pew pew him down, execute him PVE style, no movement, no slow-downs, just button mashing :-)

I WIN.

Trot back into the Horde camp. Fire a few distracting shots into the defenders. Hover my mouse over the minimap Track Humanoids red dots. Ah, there's my buddy. Lemme see if he's awake yet :-)

Head back to the same spot, Shadow Meld with visible kitty again.

Cow hoofs it over into view. Lol. He clearly doesn't know what that kitty is doing here.

I WIN.

Same move. He really is not good, but gotta tell you, Shammy Flakes taste great, skill or no skill.

This time I head into the base, see its empty, grab the flag and hot foot it back to our base. 1-0.

Yadda Yadda Yadda, new guy joins the team. Finally, somebody else aggressive for the flag. He caps the flag, I become a killing machine in the Horde tunnel. They simply refuse to target me, so I kill 6 or 7 guys in their tunnel on a single flag return. Then massive CC and carnage on the trip back to our base.

2-0

More death. Pile the cows on top of one another and beef ribs for everyone.

3-0

You know, I might just need to change my outlook on WSG pugs. Twice in a row now I've jumped in and gotten 3-0 wins on my first try.