Thursday, September 4, 2008

Always in the middle

Not WoW related, but read on for fun.

Imagine you're in a corporate office. Cubicles and the like.

Now imagine you're in the bathroom of said corporate office.

No, this isn't going to devolve into potty humor, so if the first line of the post didn't convince you to leave, just keep reading.

Imagine its the men's room. And imagine you're a man.

You've got a wall with three urinals on it. The old school kind that were built before people started getting antsy about privacy and personal space, so there's no dividers in between them, and they're uncomfortably close together.

When you enter the bathroom, there's only one other occupant. He's standing at the middle urinal.

So you get to choose between interlocking ankles with the guy and pressing shoulders together and delicately gazing up towards the wall/ceiling so as to avoid staring at eachother's junk while you both pee (did I mention that they're close together?), or you can choose to go to one of the stalls for your activity.

Imagine you chose the stalls, because you really only like brushing up against other men while pee'ing in a trough at a football game, three sheets to the wind in sub zero weather, in which case, everybody's junk is so cold and shrunken its actually kinda funny to peer over.

So you finish up, exit the stall and head over to the sinks to warsh up.

There's three sinks.

He's standing at the middle one.

So, with no other option, you kinda shoulder past the guy and take the spot at one of the side sinks.

Finish warshing up, turn to go to the solitary paper towel dispenser in the room. And he's standing there, boxing you out like Charles Barkley.

And he's taking his sweet time, taking his glasses off and cleaning them while standing there, and huffing and puffing rubbing the damp towels from the hand-water they absorbed on his face.

So you reach kinda past and around him to get a paper towel.

And now he decides to abruptly turn around and dash right into your chest, as though you weren't there.

You awkwardly squirm around eachother.

Dry your hands.

Turn to leave the bathroom.

And, he's there, at a complete standstill, right around the corner but still in the bathroom. And you run into him because you're pretty much fed up with this bathroom visit to begin with and ready to run back to your desk, since you're on a recent kick of work-related motivation.

WTF is he standing there for?

The longer you make me stand here, the more you make my resistance to WoW and the blog crumble!!!!!!!


Ah. There. I feel better now.

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